Grand Theft Auto VI: Shouting Detective Redemption: Scholarship Edition - Game of the Year Edition for Nintendo Switch

Warning: Enter at your own peril

Grab your joycons, for this RP is a Nintendo Switch exclusive. You might think you can get away with not owning a Switch for this RP, but how you going to fit that cartridge into your Playbox 4 or Xstation One?

Story:
It's 1948, a year after the events of L.A Noire, not that it makes much of a difference considering none of the events of that game will probably ever be brought up again. It's the City of Angels after a bloody Second World War that shook America (the greatest country on Earth) and soldiers returned home to find that things were not exactly as they expected it to be. Women had actually done this thing during the War called get a job and that shocked these men that their wives would want to be independent and not be clorified cooks, but a brave hero named Rusty Galloway noticed this pattern. He began arresting the husband or every murdered woman whether they did it or not in order to make this city a safe place.

Also, people were still really, really racist. Not like pre-1930s racist, but still pretty racist. Also cars looked really weird and were like the unsafest thing ever. Also, everyone owns a gun and love that handsome new detective in the paper. Also something something overarching conspiracy.


Rules:
1. Your character must be a bad detective. Like really bad.
2. Your OC may have any backstory you like, as long as it unbelievable
3. Your OC must be very unlikeable
4. Your OC must shout at someone at least once a post for no reason
5. Get ready to hear this a lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0-JKnt_Y5c
6. Despite the police department being angry at your constant failures and incompetence, you always get promoted
7. no being a dick to others e.g. godmod or taking over characters. This is a shitpost, but a lawful one
8. Lastly, the most important rule. Your hat is the source of your detective powers. Losing your hat is a serious threat to your reputation as a detective, so you better pick that thing up

Here's a little application form for you to fill out. I'll write my example one here:

Code:


[b]Name: [/b] Detective Guile McAmericanson Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
[b]Badge number (4 numbers):[/b] 1776 (Seventeen-Seventy-Six or One-Seven-Seven-Six)
[b]Desk:[/b] Ad Vice
[b]Partner:[/b] Leave blank for now
[b]Age:[/b] 15
[b]Gender:[/b] Male
[b]Nationality:[/b] American-American
[b]Appearance:[/b] Green pinstripe suit with sleeves torn off to show American flag tattoo, 7 foot tall, muscular, blonde Guile hair and a green fedora, red demon eyes, blue skin
[b]Skills:[/b] Strongest man in America, laser eyes, unfortunately no investigative or problem solving skills
[b]Nagasaki Magic? Y/N:[/b] No

[b]Backstory:[/b] Guile was a marines sergeant during the Second World War and was on his way home from fighting Nazis when the army asked him if he could deliver something for them to Nagasaki since they forgot to give it to the courier they sent to Hiroshima. As a result of his close proximity to the nuclear blast, he became irradiated at age 12, causing him to mutate into the glory that he is today. Although immune to the other strange effects due to his supreme radiation tolerance genes from his mum's side of the family, he became a conduit for magic that spread across the City of Los Angeles and became known as Nagasaki Magic.

Then for some reason he became a detective and rose to the position of the Ad Vice (drugs) desk in Hollywood




Desk Picker

Don't lie about your desk, I'll know with my Nagasaki magic. Partners will be decided later.

Character list:

Name: Detective Guile McAmericanson Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
Badge number (4 numbers): 1776 (Seventeen-Seventy-Six or One-Seven-Seven-Six)
Desk: Ad Vice
Partner: Leave blank for now
Age: 15
Gender: Male
Nationality: American-American
Appearance: Green pinstripe suit with sleeves torn off to show American flag tattoo, 7 foot tall, muscular, blonde Guile hair and a green fedora, red demon eyes, blue skin
Skills: Strongest man in America, laser eyes, unfortunately no investigative or problem solving skills
Nagasaki Magic? Y/N: No

Backstory: Guile was a marines sergeant during the Second World War and was on his way home from fighting Nazis when the army asked him if he could deliver something for them to Nagasaki since they forgot to give it to the courier they sent to Hiroshima. As a result of his close proximity to the nuclear blast, he became irradiated at age 12, causing him to mutate into the glory that he is today. Although immune to the other strange effects due to his supreme radiation tolerance genes from his mum's side of the family, he became a conduit for magic that spread across the City of Los Angeles and became known as Nagasaki Magic.

Then for some reason he became a detective and rose to the position of the Ad Vice (drugs) desk in Hollywood

Name: Detective Barry B. Bearson
Badge number (4 numbers): 1111 (Pronounced RAAAAARGH)  
Partner: Leave blank for now
Desk: Arson
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Nationality: BEAR (California Native)
Appearance: A large brown bear wearing a black fedora and a black tie. Reading glasses too whenever he reads.
Skills: Mauling, Getting picnic baskets, getting spooked by fires, Cutting deals with gangsters cause he's corrupt. Oh, and if he snorts enough cocaine, he can fly and pick up chicks really well.
Nagasaki Magic? Y/N: No

Backstory: Barry was just a small time bear, like any other forest creature. A wife, couple of cubs, a tree full of garbage, all that. That is, until those damn teenagers threw their cigars and brandy into his den. Everything went up in flames and he lost it all. He could've helped, but he ran away because fire scares him. As he watched his home burn, he swore revenge on all fire for what it had done. Then he beat up an internal affairs agent in a back alley and threatened his family until he got on the force. Barry is corrupt, you know? Plus, he has a coke habit. Mmm, nose candy. That's not accurate to the time period, so assume whoever is dealing can time travel.

Name: Dig-duggius
Badge number: 1337(leets for short)
Desk: Homicide
Age: yes
Gender: Probably
Nationality: No
Apperance: Very small, 3 foot or so, arms buff but obviously over inflated with air. His miners hat covers his hair.
Backstory: The objective of Dig Dug is to eliminate underground-dwelling monsters, either by inflating them with an air pump until they explode or by dropping rocks on them.
Personality: Can not talk, but is quick to anger and will blow up anyone who annoys him with his air pump
Nagasaki magic: N

Name: Duncan Drummond, the Daredevil of Dundee
Badge number (4 numbers): 1055
Desk: Traffic
Partner:
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Nationality: Scottish
Appearance: A lean man with a navy pinstripe suit and tie, tailored by Da Vinci himself. He wears cufflinks made from the bones of his most recent manslaughter victims and his hair flows like fire, clipping through his navy hat. His aviator glasses allow him to see into the future, though he usually ignores their predictions because he doesn't believe in the future and also he is blind like Batman.
Skills: Nothing out of the ordinary
Nagasaki Magic? Y/N: No
Backstory: A dangerous traffic cop who doesn't follow or memorise the rules, Duncan began his career as a fledgling racing driver in his hometown of Dundee when the first circuit was built. Although completely terrible, he vanquished most of his competitors through blind luck, complete confidence in his abilities, and sabotaging their vehicles. He still can't drive for toffee but working the traffic shift means a free car. Also, his entire family died in a freak accident involving a rogue ball of haggis. The police never found the killer. Did I mention that it was a traffic accident? It was a traffic accident because they were driving down the motorway at the time.

Now Duncan has arrived in the New World for one reason and one reason only.

Tax evasion.

Skills: Actually wait lol he has a Stand

The Passenger: Stats

Destructive Power: S
Speed: S
Range: S
Durability: S
Precision: S
Developmental Potential: S

Name: Detective Frisk "Cappuccino" Sherry Cava Chianti-Abita Java Tito-Sherry Bourbon; Chino for short.


Badge number: 1234 (Wan Twenty-Thray Faurh)
Desk: Traffic
Partner:
Age: 8 (But for some reason everyone thinks they're twenty-something.)
Gender: No thank you.
Nationality: Spanish???
Appearance: Very short, wears navy blue suits with lilac highlights, striped ties, and fedora which doesn't fit and constantly threatens to fall down over their eyes. Velcro shoes. Constantly covered in small golden flowers for no discernible reason.

Skills: Very fast, knows how to count to one-hundred backwards. Good at hopscotch and horseshoes. Would be a world-class driver if their feet could actually reach the pedals.

Oh yeah, and they can totally respawn.

Nagasaki Magic? Y/N: No
Personality: Frisk refuses to speak to anyone other than their partner, and doesn't usually speak to them either. (Aside from the obligatory yelling, which is done entirely in Spanish. At least, it's supposed to be Spanish; no one actually understands it.) They pay little attention to the actual work of being a detective, usually preferring to instead wander around and look at things lying around the crime scene. Other people assume this is "investigation."

Backstory: Despite literally being eight and knowing almost nothing about law, "Cappuccino" has somehow ended up as a respected traffic cop with a reputation for getting the job done. This is supposedly because the cool suit makes them look older, but the true reason is because of their detective hat.

You see, a long time (a few months) ago, Frisk was wandering down the highway in a hard-boiled fashion in an attempt to emulate the older kids, when a car swerved off the road and nearly hit them. Actually, it did hit them, and then a telephone pole, killing everyone involved. But then Chino respawned nearby, and decided to investigate the crash, because why not?
Being literally eight years old and lacking all sense of emotion, the fact that the driver was super dead didn't really bother them. No, the first thing they noticed was that there was a bag of peanuts in the glovebox. The second thing they noticed was that the driver had been wearing a really cool fedora. So they took the peanuts.

...And then came back for the fedora.

It was shortly after Frisk put on the fedora for the first time that the authorities arrived on the scene, only to find a hard-boiled crime fighter already investigating. They were hired on the spot, and soon rose to a high position in the department with the help of a new suit.

They're still trying to figure out why.

@Giggles

House burned down, go investigate.

Barry B. Bearson rolled up to the crime scene in a standard police cruiser, and parked it expertly... In the middle of the crime scene. He kicked open the door with one of his powerful bear legs (breaking the door in the process), and got out. He scanned the scene, then pointed to the first officer he saw.

"RAAAAAAAARGH, RAAA, RAAAAAAAAA?!" He screamed, angry at the man's perceived incompetence.

Civillians looked rather terrified at the sight of this crazed animal in a car crashing through a burned down house in the suburbs, fleeing in despiration. One woman actually stopped, pointed at this strange animal and gasped. "Look! It's that handsome young officer from the paper!" She cried out.

Her husband nodded, "I heard he solved the case where that guy burned his neighbor's shrub!"

However, the patrolman simply gave a nod back at Detective Bearson. "Detective? I'm Patrolman Jeff Kaplan. We were securing the scene waiting for you to arrive."

Detective Bearson got up in Kaplan's face, but didn't yell again. He simply sniffed his neck, then adjusted Kaplan's tie and nodded. "Rargh. Arrr, arr, aaaaaaaaarrrgh." The detective turned around and started walking through the rubble, shaking his head in despair at the events that had taken place here.

He accidentally stubbed a toe on a burnt out piece of furniture, so he picked it up and tossed it at the nearest Civillian. "RRRRRARRRG OUTTAMYCRIMESCENE!"

The patrolman simply watched the detective at work as he was in awe of his crime solving abilities. How could he ever live up to a bear like that and finally earn his shield? Just as he was admiring the detective's handiwork, his radio chimed in.

"What's that? ...oh, he is? Uhh...isn't this an...yes, sir." Putting down the walky talky, they were greeted by the arrival of a fancy looking man on an AMERICAN motorcycle, who stepped off and threw his glasses on the ground.

As the shattered and the shards stabbed into the patrolman, he spat on the ground. "Pick those up and get me a new pair. You know who I am, don't you?" And with that he approached Barry and folded his arms. "Give it up, Bearson. You'll never outmatch me...and besides." He lifted an evidence bag he had found in the alley next to the fire. "You know what this is?" He asked, holding it up for the bear to see.

"This is a reefer, this makes this a vice case!"

The bear poked a single claw at the bag. "RAARGH! Rargh, ragh, Raggh!" He kept swearing, even though he knew it would get him nowhere. He adjusted his hat, making sure to keep it on, then took his claw away from the bag. It was time to argue.

(X) DOUBT

"TWO CRIME SAME SCENE! BAG UNRELATED!" The bear roared at the other detective. "VICE ARSON! RAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"