The Room 2: Return of Jafar

"Oh, it's bad..." Denny strokes the football's stitches, which remind him of Johnny's magnificent raven hair. "That girl I though I was gonna marry ended up getting hit by a run-away trolley and dying. She was gonna be on Jeapordy! and everything, but now she's gone... And I definitely don't care about Lisa anymore. Not after what she did to you!"

Johnny felt bad for Denny's problems and decided to reassure him. "It is not too late to fix sex life, Denny. It was probably good for you that girl got run over by a trolley, haha, she would probably betray you like Lisa. I fed up with humanity." He began to feel furious again, he wanted is revenge desperately and Denny would be able to feel the heat of the ball in his hands dramatically rise.

"Please help me, Denny! You're the only one I can trust!

Denny nodded, holding the football aloft in the dark alley. It felt like all of his life had been leading him to this moment. The drugs, the lust, the inconsolable sorrow... Everything had come down to this. Helping a football possessed by a man of indeterminable origin seek revenge.

"Yes! YES! Ball Johnny, you know I'll do anything for you! You saved my life! Let's get revenge on those horrible people! And then I'll throw you around while wearing a tuxedo, just like old times."

Great, he knew that Denny could be trusted. In the embrace of the only one he cared about in this universe, Johnny began to think of ways he could punish those who had wronged him...perhaps even those who had gone after Denny as well while they were at it.

"Good thinking! Get your tuxedo, we will throw a party for everyone who betrayed us. If you help me, I'll tell you where I buried the belly-button sex tapes I made with Lisa."

Denny put the ball under his arm. "I don't know if my tuxedo will still fit, but I'll try. Anything for you... and for those tapes. Come on, let's go home."

Denny turned and started walking home, back to the home next to the one where his best friend dad had died.

*Lisa's doorbell rings.*

As Lisa opens the door, this plays inside:



We would have used Careless Whisper, but honestly, that's too quality for this movie.



There she is, on the sofa, ogling Mark seductively in her red dress. If you look closely, you can still see Johnny's blood stains on them.

*Mark enters the Room.*

Hey. You said you wanted to talk about Johnny?

Lisa sneaks around Mark like a drunk peacock.

"Forget." She wraps a silken scarf with gold inscriptions that say 'In chocolate veritas' around him. "About Johnny."

*'Forget about Johnny'? But... how could he forget. He's Johnny's best friend. Was Lisa really this upset that she can't even stand hearing about him anymore? Perhaps the wounds on her soul were just as fresh as his. Fresher than the bloodstains on her dress at any rate. He looks over his shoulder at her whilst she drapes the silken scarf over him.*

Wait a minute. What's going on here?

"Mark. How do I look?"

She dances the most erotic macarena to ever be macarenad in circles around him like a vulture of lust.

"Am I not... sexy? Meow."

*Mark's clearly uncomfortable with the conflicting emotions inside him, either that or he's trying to remember his lines.*

Well, I mean you're beautiful but...

Johnny was my best friend. This just doesn't feel right.

"Don't you get it, Mark?" Lisa asks passionately, as she does this. "There is no more Johnny! We are free, Mark! Free to be together! Take me, I'm yours!"

*Sigh* I mean... the wine, the stairs, the blood-stained sexy dress.

What are you doing all this for?

The part of Lisa will now be played by recycled lines from her script from the first movie, because the writer for the sequel saw this scene and left the room, crying. 

 (SHE MOVES CLOSER TO MARK AND SLIGHTLY TOUCHES HIM AND KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK.)

LISA
I like you very much lover boy.                                             

LISA                
You don't like me? I'm your girl.

*Mark had nothing more to say. Overcome by passion, or the lines being too nonsensical to read he was lost in a staircase flavoured session of dark romance. It was very uncomfortable for all.*

*Following this interlude, Mark is now sitting awkwardly on the creaky staircase.*

...*Sigh* Why did you do this to me?

"Because I love you, Mark. Can't you see the passion in my eyes?"

*Mark climbs off of the stairs.*

That's not the point. This isn't right. You're beautiful, but we shouldn't have done this. I mean... it killed Johnny.

"..."

Lisa stares at Mark deeply, with a look on her face that would clearly say 'seriously?' if her face was capable of such emotion. Instead it's just a blank stare, I guess.

*Mark walks back over to the stairs and Lisa sat on them.*

Look... this'll be our secret ok?

*He kisses Lisa.*

I just don't get what you want.

*He then goes to leave the room.*

The kiss leaves Lisa so overcome with passionate lust that it warrants an entire commercial break advertising for a cheesy sex music album all for itself!