Mr. Bones' Wild Ride

"It is! Why, it's an instrument of torture! I use it to slather people who ask pointless questions, or people on the train who don't behave."

Joke's on you, I love mayonnaise. I breathe it.

It's a medical condition.

Mr Bones, is each person's stop directly related to its number? In other words, are the numbers themselves arbitrary or crucial?

"The numbers are important! The numbers are vital! The numbers are paramount! It's why you have to figure them out on your own, you see. I'll also give you this as a freebie, Mayonnaise-chan. There is a finite number of stops this train can make. Suffice to say, the stops are NOT infinite!"

Mr. Bones, what is "?" ? A hint, please.

Thank you, Mr Bones. Which choice of degree would have best prepared me for this puzzle?

"That question mark, ?, currently represents the stop the train started at. Since you don't know what number that is, it is stop ? For ease of discussion. You have moved forward one stop, so we are at stop ?+1.
As for a hint, in Jak and Daxter, there is an extra precursor orb in the world, so you can miss 1 and still get the best ending. Lurker sharks TERRIFY me! Oh ho!"

"As to degree... that is also a very excellent question. I would say English Literature! Or maybe history..."

Let us move forward one stop, and kick out Steven Universe.

Can we oil him up before he's kicked off the train?

The train moves one stop forward.

Steven Universe has exited the train, covered in oil for some reason.

Calculating...

THIS IS THE WRONG STOP. STEVEN UNIVERSE IS CONSUMED BY FIRE.

The train is at stop ? + 2.
The current occupants are: Anakin Skywalker, Illidan Stormrage, Wario, Natsuki, Yuri, Derp Scout, Marco, Monokuma, Papa bear, Mama bear, baby bear, the gummy bears, Lizzy McGuire, Winnie the Pooh, Johhny (the best friend).
Mr. Bones revs the train's engine. Some how.

Let's kick out Anakin while we're here. Maybe play some appropriate music as well.

Note to Giggles: Edit in the Immolation Scene track from episode 3.

Anakin Skywalker exits the train.

Calculating...

THIS IS THE CORRECT STOP! ANAKIN SKYWALKER SINKS INTO A BOILING RIVER.
The train is currently at stop ? +2.
The current occupants are: Illidan Stormrage, Wario, Natsuki, Yuri, Derp Scout, Marco, Monokuma, Papa bear, Mama bear, baby bear, the gummy bears, Lizzy McGuire, Winnie the Pooh, Johhny (the best friend).
Mr. Bones gives out a triumphant doot.

Is it possible that a stop is the correct stop for more than one character?

"Of course, Shuda! An infinite number of characters and a finite number of stops? Characters must share correct stops with others!"

Is it possible to suplex the train?

"No! Sabin is the only one who can do that and he's not here! Even if he was, he would be inside! Ahaha!"

Does the number of letters in a character's name have anything to do with which stop is theirs?

Would it be correct to say that each stop represents a category and that each character fits into one of these categories? Also, does each category represent a numerical value is this case or something else?

Sabin enters the train.

"As always, questions before boarding!"
"Neni, what's in a name? Letters, so nothing important. The number of letters in a name is completely unimportant!"
"Reverie, you're on the right track, much like this train! Each stop is a category of some sort. However, as to what each category represents... that question is a mite too complicated for me to answer! Bwahaha!"

Sabin boards the train.
The train is at stop ? + 2.
The current occupants are: Illidan Stormrage, Wario, Natsuki, Yuri, Derp Scout, Marco, Monokuma, Papa bear, Mama bear, baby bear, the gummy bears, Lizzy McGuire, Winnie the Pooh, Johhny (the best friend), Sabin.
Mr. Bones is tipping his hat at some of the ladies and a few of the men.

... I'd like Chewbacca to board the train. And leave immediately after.

Chewbacca enters the train and leaves immediately.

Calculating...

THIS IS THE CORRECT STOP! CHEWBACCA SINKS INTO A BOILING LAKE!

The train is currently at stop ? + 2.
The current occupants are: Illidan Stormrage, Wario, Natsuki, Yuri, Derp Scout, Marco, Monokuma, Papa bear, Mama bear, baby bear, the gummy bears, Lizzy McGuire, Winnie the Pooh, Johhny (the best friend), Sabin.
Mr. bones dabs.

randy why would you do that to chewie

slams desk

points finger

I'd like to guess the rule under which we're operating!

"Lay your cards on the table and GUESS, my AMIGO!"

Are there any correct stops that won't kill you?